Ive been having so many feelings lately.
Its really strange because there are highs and lows.
I don't know what I want in life.
I don't know why I am even here to be honest.
All of my relationships are bipolar and somehow screwed up.
I think I am going to be in multiple abusive relationships, partially because I will always give in, always forgive, always minimize my control, always force those who don't want me to want me. It's like I subconsciously put myself in these situations because "suffering" and "feeling hurt" is all that I know and all that I subconsciously want.
Let me put that in english: I feel the only reason I am here is to suffer and hate life and be negative so why stop now?
I'm also so impulsive.. It is extremely embarrassingg, along with my passive agressiveness.. I want soemone so desperately to care about how i feel, or care if I was mad at them, and react the way I do. Like does someone scroll through my instagram or my snapchat story constantly, because they cant spend a moment not knowing what im doing? Does someone cry or get emotional if i get mad at them? Is it all they will think about?
I have absolutely no idea where this is going.
Pce.